Posts tagged Life
Posts tagged Life
You know that thing where people only try things half-heartedly, because if they really put all of themselves into it and still fail it’s going to hurt like hell?
I do it.
Acceptance is the first step towards recovery, right?
You know what’s really crappy? That every time I have the impulse to tweet/post about something very stereotypically “girly”, I catch myself holding back, feeling self-conscious, second-guessing myself, and generally retracting in embarrassment - even though I REALLY DO KNOW BETTER. As an experiment, I’m going to actively counter this tendency whenever I catch myself at it. I seriously want this stuff out of my head. So, here goes:
So the other day it dawned on me that I should get a pair of work shoes, since all I have here are trainers, big winter boots, and a pair of mary janes that work for interviews but that I probably don’t want to stand in for 8 hours. Today’s very mundane post is brought to you by the fact that it’s usually pretty hard for me to find affordable footwear that I like, but I stumbled upon these today and I’m actually really happy with them.
PS: Apologies for the atrocious photo. I should have waited for daylight tomorrow, but realistically I’d probably be too lazy to take a picture then.
Submitted by anonymous.
An extra Halloween treat from my All Hallow’s Read Swap partner, Jen :D I’ve never had Oreo Milka before. Let the noming begin.
Omg, this whole piece is a thing of beauty and brought tears to my eyes.
Thanks for sharing this, Amy. And no, you’re not weird nor obnoxious nor the only one who struggles with this. Being vulnerable can be a terrifying thing, especially if you’re experiencing it on your own, but I figure I’ll sleep better at night if I don’t hide behind a mask of detachment. At the end of the day I’d much rather make a fool of myself than to miss out on something cool and worthwhile (a conversation, a friendship, a relationship with a piece of media, you name it) because I was too busy making it seem like I didn’t care too much. Of course, sometimes I fail and I do hide, but… I keep trying. So far the effort has paid.
So, today is my last day at home home - I have no idea when I’ll be able to come back after this, since starting a new job in mid-November = uncertain Christmas holidays. I have more reasons to be excited to be going back to the UK than ever (yay, starting my new library job. yay, Neil Gaiman and Philip Pullman event on Monday. yay, bike of my very own that I’ll be getting very soon), but I’m still a little bit sad and nostalgic today. The perfect blue sky and 24 degree weather I’ll be leaving behind is definitely not helping. So, to cheer myself up, here are a couple of happy things about this week:
And for good measure, here are a few happy things about going back:
Okay, all done blabbing about my life now.
I have FINALLY learned how to ride a bike, and it only took two sessions :D Yesterday I felt like I wasn’t making any progress at all, then today, BAM. Balance: mastered \o/
Helpful despite my Ripe Old Age and the extent to which my possibilities have already narrowed. Which is kind of the point, I know.
So my parents have officially adopted the stray little kitten they’d been feeding for the better part of a month. This is the first time they’ll be raising an animal without me being close by to get to know him/her, and while it was bound to happen eventually it’s a bit strange to think about.
a) and b) He’s not kept in a cage, obviously, but they used one to catch him and bring him inside and he took to sleeping in it even though the door was always open.
c) Mini Mi* :D
d) Kitteh smackdown
e) This picture cracks me up way more than it should. My poor long-suffering cat :D
*I suppose this only makes sense if you know that the big black cat’s name is Mi.
PS: Sorry about the bad photo quality; my dad’s camera is in need of upgrading.
a) !!! A welcome gift from M - who knew an Eva Ibbotson box set even existed? :D (And around it, some essentials I’ve already unpacked. Because gifts from my favourite people totally count as essentials.)
b) A housewarming gift from M’s mom.
c) Mathie and his mom went to Bath and all they brought me were this awesome postcard and bookmark :D
You don’t sound creepy at all. And I may be lucky enough to have made some great friends online, but hey, there’s always room for more. Just saying. Best of luck with everything. *hugs*
crysmilecry said: Ugh yes. All of this. I do not know how people make friends outside of school/work and I am terrible at keeping in touch with people, even people I really, really want to keep in touch with, out of fear of being a bother. Ugh.
*hugs* Hopefully one day we’ll figure it out? My greatest fear is that the older I get, the hardest it will be. But I guess only time will tell.
bookgazing said: So good to hear you share. And this: ‘I wish there were more open conversations about how people form and handle their friendships.’ the interwebs could start this…it would be awesome. And I have fic book recs I could send you about friendship if you like.
Pleasetellusallaboutyourfriendshipsinterwebs.tumblr.com? And I’d love some recs, thanks (though obviously no rush and no pressure!). Also, although this was probably totally obvious, you’re definitely among the people I have often wished I wasn’t too embarassed to apologise to… though I guess I have now :P
*hugs* I know how you feel. I have a couple of people I think of as close friends and who I’m incredibly grateful for (& also a bunch of casual acquaintances I’m creepily overly attached to), but they’re all people I met in the past 5 to 10 years. Definitely no one from my childhood; no Diana Barry to my Anne Shirley. They’re also all people I’m in touch with sporadically rather than every day, because they all have really busy lives. I’m not saying this bitterly or resentfully – I’m so very grateful for the time they do make for me. But that’s what really scared me about the NYT piece: I don’t know that I’ll be put in a position where I’m thrown together with people on a daily basis ever again; where I have an “excuse” to be in their lives and don’t feel like I’m trespassing or forcing myself on them. And it can be really hard not to let fear paralyse you and end up drifting apart otherwise.
I also know exactly what you mean about being an introvert who is painfully shy to boot and who has trouble finding people with similar interests (add social anxiety to the mix and the result is no fun). Honestly, all the way until the end of middle school I was pretty unlucky with my peers. I was the sole nerdy, quiet bookworm around, I was bullied horribly, and it’s no wonder at all I didn’t form any deeper or lasting connections. When I was in high school and college I did meet people I connected with, people whose friendship had a huge impact on me and helped make me the person I am today. But once again, I have sucked at keeping in touch. The reason why all this stuff has been on my mind lately is exactly that I’m having trouble figuring how to keep social ties alive when life has isolated me and put me in a position where any interactions I have with people are going to have to be deliberate rather than casual (well, that and the fact that I read this really great book by Aidan Chambers called Dying to Know You).